Just sharing my thoughts on some things that couples say that set the relationship down a surefire path towards financial problems:
1. “We’ll do the budget tomorrow…” – The easiest way to start losing your grip on finances is to put off doing a budget. I won’t sugar coat it, setting up a budget can be boring and can lead to arguments and disagreements that are never pleasant. Not doing a budget, however, leads to debt, resentment and massive strain on relationships and finances. Once you have set a budget it should be fairly easy to make any small adjustments needed. Don’t put it off…
2. “I’ll just put it on the credit card…” – the truth is that no matter how well intentioned you may be, unless you have complete control over your spending, using a credit card will invariably lead to debt. The worst kind of debt. “just” putting things on the credit card means you’ll suddenly be faced with a £1000, £2000 or even £5000 bill and you will have nothing to show for it and no idea where that money went…
3. “This is all your fault.” When talking about finances, laying blame does not get you anywhere. Blame causes resentment, anger and bitterness along with a sense of withdrawal when it comes to discussing finances. This invariably means that your finances will suffer. And so will you.
4. “You never…/You always…” – Using the words “never” and “always” are what I call “button” words. They are accusatory words that always lead to arguments. In future, instead of saying : “You never stick to the budget…” try saying: “I feel loved when you stick to the budget because…”
One is very negative, the other encourages change…
5. ” ” – Simply not talking about money makes the conversation become taboo and as we know, “a problem shared is a problem halved”. Failing to share the problem, on the other hand, compounds and multiplies the problem. As the old advert used to say: “It’s good to talk!”
It’s be great to hear any comments you may have, both positive or negative!
If you’d like to find out more about this topic, check out the Newlyweds’ Guide To Money. On Amazon now.